THE EVERAFTER a Darth Caedus fanmix...

t h e e v e r a f t e r . . .

» a Darth Caedus mix «
[originally made/posted in November of 2007]

Playmoss // YouTube

SLICED .. { Akira Yamaoka }

[ instrumental ]

....................

Jacen took off the helmet, looked into his own eyes, and didn't flinch.

"Caedus," he said. "My name is Darth Caedus."

21 DAYS .. { Dave Gahan }

... building a tower of fear by the river
building it up
build it up

it's been 21 days
and the tower keeps rising
21 days
that's all it took
the sun is disappearing on the horizon
you really should take a look ...

....................

People read holozines in the tub to relax, but Jacen found himself behaving like a bachelor slob and eating his take-out banquet. He was exhausted. He had the feeling he was coming to the peak of a wave, struggling up the gradient, and that when he hit the crest -- that final hurdle to his Sith destiny -- things would ease and make sense.

Jacen laid his fork on the edge of the tub and overwrote the prophecy again in the condensation.

HE WILL IMMORTALIZE HIS LOVE.

AFRAID THIS TIME .. { Celldweller }

... build them up
high and strong
so you'll never have to hurt too long
put them up
til they surround
and there's no more real you left to be found ...

....................

"Nelani. I'm sorry. You're... a deflector that would send the future spinning into tragedy. And you're too young, too weak to understand it, to correct it." He struck, a slash that turned into a twirl binding her blade. The maneuver disarmed her, leaving her arm untouched but spinning her lightsaber off into the darkness.

He struck again, a surgical thrust that entered the precise center of her breastbone, emerged from her spine.

Jacen pulled the lightsaber free. Nelani slumped to the side, and he felt her begin to vanish into the Force.

Until she finished her slow fall and her head lolled against the stone, her eyes did not leave his.

DON'T MESS WITH ME .. { Temposhark }

... how it all began – if truth be told
had a master plan – now I rule the world
took them by surprise – worked my way uphill
they looked into my eyes – I became invincible

no one can stop me for only I am in control
if you want me you'd better contact my people ...

....................

Lavint peered at him, alarmed and suspicious, for the seconds it took to bring his face into focus. Then she recognized him and laughed. "Colonel Solo," she said. "Here to kill me?"

He shook his head and handed her the blaster. "No, I need you."

"Well, I'm not at my best right now, but I'm up for it if you are."

An expression of distaste crossed his face. "Not what I meant."

PAIN INSIDE .. { Adema }

... this pain inside I can't understand
this hate in life that will not go away
this pain inside I can not live with it
it feels like no one really understands ...

....................

He wasn't the same Jacen Solo who was shocked when Lumiya had told him he was destined to be a Sith Lord.

If he looked back far enough, Jacen saw its beginnings in Vergere's oddly concerned avian eyes as he suffered physical torment that had changed him forever, showing him that there was nothing he couldn't endure and pass beyond if his will wanted it.

USELINK .. { Depeche Mode }

[ instrumental ]

....................

"I ought to write a study on this. How to take over the state: smile, look reluctant, and keep the traffic flowing."

BLACK SHEEP .. { Sneaker Pimps }

... if you see me you'll be crossing the street
or kick me and then leave me to bleed
if looks could kill wouldn't need all the pills but
i take what it needs to be easy
with the black sheep now
we're the black sheep now ...

....................

"Finish it?" Caedus deactivated the lightsaber and tucked it into his belt, then used the Force to pull the boy to his feet. "Ben, we're just getting started."

JUST LIKE YOU IMAGINED .. { Nine Inch Nails }

[ instrumental ]

....................

Jacen sat and waited, almost expecting a prophecy from her to help him make sense of what he'd done. But after a few moments, he felt the final discharge of elemental energy that every Force-user would notice and comprehend.

Ben was the last word she ever spoke.

BETWEEN BREATHS (AN XX PERSPECTIVE) .. { Blaqk Audio }

... do you remember your last look
well you were smiling, and drowning
and I knew exactly what it took to make you beg and pray
Please, please, please don't take it
take it take it take it easy on me
Just make it harder to breathe ...

....................

Tenel Ka deactivated her lightsaber and tossed it on the bed, then smiled warmly and opened her arms to him. "I was hoping you would find time to call."

Jacen cocked his brow, then let his gaze slide down her body. "So I see."

"Well?" Tenel Ka asked. "Are you just going to stand there gawking? Or are you going to do something about it?"

LAND OF CONFUSION .. { Disturbed }

... there's too many men
too many people
making too many problems
and not much love to go round
can't you see this is a land of confusion

this is the world we live in
and these are the hands we're given
use them and let's start trying
to make it a place worth living in ...

....................

"There's only one reason why I would ever do anything so difficult: for the good of the galaxy."

SHOUT .. { Tears for Fears }

... and when you've taken down your guard
if I could change your mind
i'd really love to break your heart ...

....................

Everyone he had loved now hated him... except Allana. And he would not allow Tenel Ka to turn his daughter against him. He would cut down anyone who stood between him and his child.

Anyone.

IN A LONELY PLACE [TRICKY MIX] .. { Bush }

... caressing the marble and stone
love that was special for one
the waste in the fever I heat
how I wish you were here with me now ...

....................

Now Caedus' heart sank, sank so far that it seemed to vanish into the cold emptiness he felt gathering inside him. The unthinkable had happened. Tenel Ka had deserted him, their love just one more offering to his Sith destiny. He knew the sacrifice would strengthen him eventually, as every sacrifice now strengthened him, but this time it did not feel that way. All Caedus felt now was angry, stunned and abandoned.

WOULD? .. { Alice In Chains }

... into the flood again
same old trip it was back then
so I made a big mistake
try to see it once my way ...

....................

Alema was about to back away when a voice murmured up through the fog. It was impossible to make out what it was saying over the gurgling of the pool, but Alema didn't care. She recognized that voice: its dark timbre, its careful rhythm, and -- unmistakably -- its patronizing inflections.

Jacen.

DIG .. { Incubus }

... if I turn into another
dig me up from under what is covering
the better part of me
sing this song
remind me that we'll always have each other
when everything else is gone ...

....................

Allana was no longer afraid of him, and had accepted him instantly, with boundless affection as her father.

BODIES .. { The Smashing Pumpkins }

... cast the pearls aside of a simple life of need
come into my life forever
the crumbled cities stand as known
of the sights you have been shown
of the hurt you call your own
love is suicide ...

....................

Caedus thought of Tenel Ka and went empty inside. The only time he slept well anymore was in her company.

NEW YEARS DAY .. { The Anix }

... under a blood red sky
a crowd has gathered black and white
arms entwined the chosen few
the newspapers says
say it's true, it's true
and we can break through
though torn in two
we can be one ...

....................

But Jacen knew what the battle was really like. He could feel it in the hundreds of life-presences winking out every second, in the waves of anguish rolling through the Force ever more powerfully. Most of all, he could sense it in Tenel Ka, in the carefully controlled anger he perceived when he reached out to her, in the fear and sadness she felt over the outcome. Was this what he had been fighting to protect all his life, a civilization that devoured itself?

GOODNIGHT .. { The Birthday Massacre }

... first day in a victim's chair
every surface replaced
can help to keep you
fear for a corrective gaze
every future displayed
will match your crowd

a loss of innocence
one hand to wash the other
be a perfectionist
you're nothing if your just another
something that's serial
this isn't personal ...

....................

The fire in Jacen's eyes was as anguished as it was intense, and Luke finally began to understand just how alone his nephew really was. He had lost his younger brother during the last pan-galactic war and renounced his sister and parents in an attempt to prevent another one, and in his unwavering battle against the evil he saw threatening the galaxy, he was clearly ready to surrender his relationship with his aunt and uncle, as well.

SHE SHUT YOUR EYES .. { Blindside }

... now you're sick of lying
tonight a star is shining
on a heart that's dying
the morning star is shining again
so you better wake up
you better rise up
the morning star is shining again ...

....................

And, for a moment, Caedus became Jacen once again, filled with sorrow for what he had become, yet still knowing how necessary it all was. It was the only way to bring order to a galaxy that fed on strife and war, the only way to create a home where his daughter and the daughters of his allies and enemies would one day grow up in peace and security.

RANKED .. { Akira Yamaoka }

[ instrumental ]

....................

"I couldn't hate and it nearly destroyed me."