JACEN SOLO //
son of Leia Organa Solo and Han Solo 9 ABY - 40 ABY
 

(instrumental)

    "I don't care about your subjects. I care about you and Allana. And I won't take chances with your lives."

(Inferno, pg. 11)
 

... the one to gaze at my insides
will find me liable for these crimes
of love I've been forced to hide
for some the strange in life's real fine
for some the strangest of lives is mine
who's to say what may come about
for when the very thing that caused this woe
is sometimes better than you know ...     

   Caedus waited, pouring his love for her into the Force, trying to send it through his eyes into hers. He nodded. "You always knew you had a daddy. Your mommy had to keep who it was a secret. But now you're old enough to understand it. I'm your daddy."
    He felt the fear within her, the lingering pain from the events of two days earlier, begin to erode. Allana lowered the injector. Through the Force, he offered her nothing but the truth -- for the first time in months, perhaps years, there was nothing of Sith training to his thoughts, nothing of the Jedi, no strategy, no planning. There was only what he felt.
    She came to him, clambering over the bed and into his lap. She put her arms around his neck. "Daddy."
    "Yes. Your daddy, forever and ever." He held her to him, stroked her hair. "And when the war is over and the bad people have been taught how wrong they were, and everyone is happy again, we can tell everyone that I'm your daddy."

(Fury, pg. 202 - 203)
 

... waste all your time with me
I know I'm a mess right now
don't give up, believe
I'd wait it out for you ...

    Jacen reached the stage of wanting to just turn and run when he took his leave of her and Tenel Ka, so he could avoid that hesitant parting a step at a time, looking back over and over again and thinking: What if this was the last time I ever saw them? He did think it. It was morbid, but a measure of how important they were to him that he tested just how devastated he'd feel without them. At least as Chief of State, he had a much better reason for more frequent contact with an allied monarch.
    And he'd come through this visit without his destiny bursting in and creating a moment that told him he had to kill them. He listened for that whisper of fate, dreading it, but there was only silence.

(Sacrifice, pg. 310)
 

... the scalpel dives into the skin
good doctors never leave a scar
no proof again
I'll take the myth, you take the blood
it's all the same to the world dreamer
it's all the same in the end

boy loses rib as he's summoned to the mud
flat on his back
cryin' where did I go wrong? ...

    "Look into my heart, and you will know that the decision is mine alone."
    Caedus felt her reaching out, opening her emotions to him. Her presence was filled with sorrow and anger and -- most devastating -- disappointment. There was love, too, but the kind of lost love that one carries for someone who has died or passed out of one's life forever.
    Now Caedus's heart sank, sank so far that it seemed to vanish into the cold emptiness he felt gathering inside him. The unthinkable had happened. Tenel Ka had deserted him, their love just one more offering to his Sith destiny. He knew the sacrifice would strengthen him eventually, as every sacrifice now strengthened him, but this time it did not feel that way. All Caedus felt now was angry, stunned, and abandoned.
    After a moment, Tenel Ka said, "I am asking you one last time, Jacen. Please don't make me do this."
    "I'm sorry, Your Majesty," Caedus replied. “I have no choice.”

(Inferno, pg. 276 - 277)
 

... time after time, I walk the fine line
something keeps bringing me back
and time after time, I'm going in blind
I don't know which way I need to go ...

    "Not just yet. I've been trying to turn your attention to me."
    He grinned. "You really have gotten bolder."
    "And being a Jedi, the only Jedi assigned to this world, means I have very little time of my own, so I tend to get to the point rather quickly. Does that bother you?"
    Jacen shook his head, but kept his attention on the terrain speeding by beneath their vehicle. "No, but there's someone..."
    "Someone occupying that particular place in your life?"
    "Yes."
    She made a chiding noise. "Well, then, let's just spend a little time together. Which, incidentally, I wanted very badly to suggest seven years ago, when you were teaching me lightsaber technique, but I was too self-conscious."
    Jacen smiled and offered no further explanation.
    Nelani shook her head, a gesture of mild regret, and fell silent. 

 (Betrayal, pg. 279)  
 

... you're my toybox
you're my memories
when I smell your skin you just make my whole world weep
I'm at your feet ...

    There was no one around him with whom he could share his feelings as he had once done with Jaina, or seek advice from as he had once done with Luke, or turn to for unconditional support as he had once done with his parents.
    Now there was only Tenel Ka, who was all those things to him during their brief trysts, and the hope that one day they could be together always. Caedus closed his eyes and let his mind drift into the future, not seeing it through the Force but imagining it with his heart. 

 (Inferno, pg. 273) 
 

... this was the only way we knew how
to make everything just okay
i'll make it up tonight
the sun was two steps too close with his waking eyes
we'll make believe that everything's alright
cause you wouldn't take me home ...

    "Forgive me if I seem too joyful," she said, able to perceive now the sadness that tinged his hard eyes, the grief that tainted his clenched jaw. "Tomorrow is Mara's funeral. Of course you have other things on your mind."
    Jacen's snort was so gentle that Tenel Ka almost did not hear it.
    "It's okay." He took her hand, but the softness had vanished from his face, leaving in its place only the stoic, unreadable mask that he had worn since his escape from the Yuuzhan Vong. "I wasn't thinking about Mara."
    Tenel Ka eyed him doubtfully.
    "Well, not exclusively," Jacen admitted. "I'm happy to see you too." 

 (Inferno, pg. 3 - 4) 
 

... you wake up alone
it's still forty days until I come home
does it get easier love?
it seems like it never does...
is that why you lie?
and tell me your alright? ...

    Jacen considered it. "Am I ready?"
    "In all other ways, yes. But you have to make the sacrifice of love. And then you must take your Sith name, to reforge yourself."
    "Who must I sacrifice?" The question put a chill through him. If she were to say, The one you love most, he would be unable to do it. He would never sacrifice Allana. He would never sacrifice Tenel Ka.
    "One you love. One who will leave a void in your heart."
    "Anyone?"
    "Anyone."

(Exile, pg. 335)
 

... It's always best with the choir is out
I am the pick in the ice
Do not cry out or hit the alarm
You know we're friends until we die

And either way you turn, I'll be there
Open up your skull, I'll be there
Climbing up the walls

It's always best when the light is off
It's always better on the outside
Fifteen blows to the back of your head
Fifteen blows to your mind

So lock the kids up safe tonight
Shut the eyes in the cupboard
I've got the smile of a local man
Who's got the loneliest feeling ...

    Full of too much Toydarian sourfry, tired, and lulled by hot water, Jacen let his mind wander, and reached out in the Force to touch Allana and Tenel Ka. His risked this with decreasing frequency now. The latest attempt on their lives had been a stark warning of how precarious his family's position was. He'd never heard Allana call him Daddy. He probably never would.
    My family. Yes, that's who my family is. Not Jaina, not Mom, not Dad; my little girl and her mother. Trust me to fall for a woman whose customs prevent her ever naming the father of her child. 

 (Sacrifice, pg. 267) 
 

... run towards the hills to avoid the high flood
I can do a dance that will make the sky cry blood
skills provoking, seals will be broken open
all that's left to do is try my love ...

    "Greetings to the esteemed Queen Mother of the Hapes Consortium." His voice did not exactly drip with sarcasm, but the excessive formality he employed, treating Tenel Ka as some distant ruler, ignoring all that they had been to each other, was just as hurtful. "At Kuat, you put me into an untenable situation. Being abandoned by one whom I once had considerable affection and respect, was like being murdered... and surviving.
    "So I'm going to repay the favor. You have a choice to make, like the one you tried to force upon me. You will put all Hapan military forces under my command, with ships' senior officers to be supplied by the Galactic Alliance... or your daughter will die."
    Jacen leaned forward so that his face more completely filled the monitor screen. His eyes were bright, inhuman in their intensity and focus. They even seemed lighter in color than usual. "By doing what you did to me, you changed me into someone capable of doing exactly what I have promised. The threat is not a bluff, and if it takes place, it will be your doing. Something to keep in mind the next time you play the Hapan cultural game of backstabbing and bloodletting."
    The screen went dark. 

 (Fury, pg. 60) 
 

... I am the patron saint of lost causes
a fraction of who I once believed
only a matter of time
opinions I will try and rewrite
if life had background music
playing your song
i've got to be honest, I tried to escape you
but the orchestra plays on
things are gonna change now
for the better
things are gonna change

hands like secrets are the hardest thing to keep from you
lines and phrases like knives
your words can cut me through
dismantle me down, repair
you've dismantled me ...

    Gasping for breath, he raised his comlink. "This is Solo. Do not fire on the Millennium Falcon. Anyone who fires on her dies. Use tractor beams only."
    He heard, but paid no attention to, the acknowledgment from the bridge. He took no mind of the confusion in the officer's voice as the man reported progress with the tractor beams -- which turned into no progress, as the weapons officers' switchover to the tractor system gave the Falcon precious moments in which to pull away from the Anakin Solo. Yes, I once fired on the Falcon from this very ship. But my daughter was not aboard her then. He could feel her, Allana's shining presence, growing ever more distant, and each moment of separation felt like another needle being hammered into his heart.     Finally, it came, the report he dreaded, the one he could not forestall no matter how strongly, lovingly, hopelessly he reached out to his daughter through the Force. "Sir, I'm sorry to report the Millennium Falcon has entered hyperspace."
    His legs failed him and he sank to the deck plates, kneeling in his pain and sudden grief. 

 (Fury, pg. 347 - 348) 
 

... I've been so alone for so long
forgotten by the world
forgotten to my self
your effervescent eyes have awakened me
and brushed the dust away
but I knew you'd never stay

so I memorized the color of your eyes
as I lost myself inside you
I memorized the way our legs entwined
as I drifted off beside you ...

    Caedus thought of Tenel Ka and went empty inside. The only time he slept well anymore was in her company. 

 (Inferno, pg. 140) 
 

... heavenly, can't you see?
feels like yesterday's here now
heavenly, trust in me
feels like yesterday now

I look at the world and it's heavenly
I see a miracle place to be
why is it anyone has to die?
did they ever ask you why? ...

    For a moment he tried to recapture a sense of what he had been as a teenager, before the war against the Yuuzhan Vong: gawky, happy, usually in the company of his twin sister, Jaina, and younger brother, Anakin, all too infrequently in the company of his parents... His sense of humor, always present, had usually manifested itself in the form of awful jokes learned in the four corners of the galaxy.
    And then there were animals, Wedge's "cubs in trees." Once upon a time he's been able to charm a sand panther into purring, had been able to coax the cub of any species into his hand. How long had it been since he done that? Since he'd wanted to do that? 

 (Exile, pg. 23) 
 

... I am here to quench your thirst
I am here to make it work
nothing bad will ever happen
as long as I am here ...

    And Jaina felt something in the Force, too -- something that made her pulse stop and her chest sink and her blood freeze in her veins. Her brother was reaching out to Tenel Ka, screaming at her through the Force, warning her there was danger, urging her to take Allana and...
    The blade reached Caedus's heart, and he dropped at her feet, and Jaina felt nothing at all.

(Invincible, pg. 263 - 264)
 

(instrumental)

    "What? Our signal must have gotten scrambled. It sounded like you said I can't count on you." 

 (Inferno, pg. 274)
 

TENEL KA DJO //
daughter of Teneniel Djo and Prince Isolder 10 ABY -

(ALLANA DJO SOLO //
daughter of Tenel Ka and Jacen Solo 36 ABY -)
 

(instrumental)

    "I think the phrase is lonely at the top, Jacen Solo."

(Sacrifice, pg. 311)
 

... I'm not the same; it feels like I'm missing out
the sky has drained now I must live without
how suddenly the whole world can change overnight
how suddenly the whole world sings your name

and I find myself questioning all that I have done
and I'm trying to press the button to rewind
and I find myself whispering 'God, what have you done?'
and I wish I had the option to rewind ...

    "You'll send a skiff?" Caedus fumed. "Tenel Ka, you can't believe I'm going to surrender -- to you or anyone else."
    "I am hoping you will." Tenel Ka's voice was sad but firm. "Because it is going to break my heart to have to fire on you."
    Caedus's rage exploded inside of him, and his thoughts began to whirl in disbelief. He reached out to Tenel Ka in the Force, but found her aura drawn in tight, her presence unavailable to touch.
    "Even you?" he gasped. "I thought you were made of stronger stuff, Tenel Ka. I thought you understood what I'm trying to accomplish."

(Inferno, pg. 275 - 276)
 

... the beauty of guilt and grief and pain
is pure and untainted, needs no explaination or understanding
it just is, it just is, it changes us ...

    Once the door had slid shut behind DeDe and Lady Galney, Jacen and Tenel Ka stood facing each other in uncertain silence, their eyes meeting, but their bodies still three paces apart.
    Finally, Jacen felt sure no one would be returning unexpectedly. "It's okay," he said. "I just had a security sweep."
    Tenel Ka did not smile, but a look of relief flashed across her face. She was in Jacen's arms almost before he could open them. "It is good to have you here, Jacen. Thank you for coming."
    "I'm glad you asked me." Jacen held her to his chest, then said, "You didn't need to come up here, though. I would've been happy to come down to the palace."
    "No. This is better," Tenel Ka pulled back far enough to look up into his eyes. "I needed to bring Allana some place safe."

(Tempest, pg. 156)
 

... it's in your face
it's in your hands
it's in the air
but you can't breathe it
you're not the one I used to know
gone to your head ...

    Suiting words to action, she leapt behind one of the natural stone columns lining the hangar bay and put her back to it. She turned her head to glance toward Jacen.
    He looked straight at her, offering a tight little smile, then held up a comlink. He pressed the button on it.
    The universe went white and it kicked against Tenel Ka's back...

(Fury, pg. 58)
 

... I don't believe in a violent god
I don't believe in anyone who forces me to believe
cause I can't and I won't

I can't keep up this fight
I can't keep fighting everyone I know
this is killing me

we believe in something worth loving
we believe in something worth fighting for
we believe in a god that loves us all
we believe in love ...

    Tenel Ka muttered something unintelligible into Han's tunic, then pushed herself away shaking her head.
    "It's not Luke." She cast a quick glance at Leia, then added quickly, "I'm very sad to lose him, but it's more than that -- it's Jacen too. The galaxy is coming apart around us, and he used to be the one person who seemed strong enough to hold it together."

(Inferno, pg. 245)
 

... every time you talk, you complicate this life
lost focus when I close my eyes, now they're open and I realize
you don't think you're caught, think you're special think you're smart
and you're pulling me apart

what would you do?
if you knew what I do, what were you expecting
did you think I would get mad, fall down, break in two
what would you say?
never thought it would come to this, but you got so reckless
I'm not blind, I just wish I could not see ...

    Tenel Ka let our a breath she realized she'd been holding since Jacen first appeared on screen. Isolder said nothing.
    Finally, she turned to him. She struggled to keep her voice even, but it wasn't easy; her breath wanted to come in pained gasps. "Prince Isolder. In your opinion, is he capable of carrying out his threat?"
    "I don't know him nearly as well as you, Queen Mother. But... yes." He glanced at the monitor. "I've watched the recording a dozen times, and each time I see a man whose humanity has been utterly extracted from him. "
    Tears came to Tenel Ka's eyes. "He was right, you know. It's like being murdered and surviving."

(Fury, pg. 60 - 61)
 

... i've been trying to reach you
you couldn't hear me call
wasting my time now
cause i'm still blind to it all ...

    Jacen's expression changed from shock to shame, and Tenel Ka's sadness began to lift. Clearly, the attack on the Falcon had been the result of a terrible misunderstanding. Jacen had made a grave mistake -- but only because he was overcompensating, trying too hard to avoid letting his personal feelings influence his judgement.
    That was certainly what Tenel Ka hoped -- and what she chose to believe.

(Tempest, pg. 383)
 

... I live in the past
I can't move on beyond the pain
I feel no release
I want to find my peace of mind
my fear - it's holding me stillborn
my fear - I'll never be again
don't fear

you stole the innocence
from a child to be no more
blinded by the silence
afraid to ever speak a word ...

    As the lift began to rise, Tenel Ka's eyes grew wet, and her lip began to quiver.
    "So the intelligence reports I have been getting from Kashyyyk are true?" she asked.
    "I'm afraid so," Leia said. "I wish there was a better way to put this, but there isn't. Jacen is burning the planet to the dirt."
    A single tear ran down Tenel Ka's cheek. "Why?"
    "Who knows?" Han couldn't figure out why Tenel Ka was taking this so hard; she was acting like Jacen was her kid or something. "Because he's Jacen and he doesn't like when people say no to him."
    This was too much for Tenel Ka. The tears started to flow more freely, and she touched a button on the wall. The lift stopped immediately, trapping them all inside the small compartment.
    "Forgive me," Tenel Ka said, shaking her head in despair. "I don't know what to make of so much sad news."

(Inferno, pg. 244 - 245)
 

... it won't be long before you see yourself
it won't be long before you see the truth
it won't be long before you see yourself ...

    "Come now, Princess." Tenel Ka lowered the mirror, her face now perfectly composed, with no hint of the tears she had been shedding just a minute earlier. She pressed a button on the wall, and the antique lift began to rise again. "We both know that if you aren't for Jacen, you're against him."

(Inferno, pg. 246)
 

... put 'em up against the wall
now they're all of no use to you
god, it's time for the curing
only you're in for that big refuse
surprise, boy, this tide's come a turning
no room to mourn what you have lost
oh no waiting while the willing
poor little hound of blood and rank
who deserves every ounce of what's coming

come on, come on, come on
you've got to give it to me
as though you want it too
come on and set me free

I'll dig it till we've made your grave.
oh you've been a bad, bad boy
I'll cut it 'til I carve it out and stick it in a sad, sad song.
why the bother, you're no brother. You’re the wrong I need.
boy, we all found an audience, while you found the worst of me.
you got another thing ...

    Ben contemplated this for a moment, then asked, "But how do you know when someone can be brought back towards the light?"
    "First, they must want to be redeemed," Tenel Ka said. "All Caedus wants is to control everything he sees. There is no use wishing otherwise, Ben."

(Invincible, pg. 205)
 

... with her hand in his hand
they were both happy again
you started taking sides
they started arguing
he said it was her fault
she said it wasn't at all
but the truth lies somewhere in the middle ...

  "Jacen, stop." Tenel Ka used the Force to pull his hands away from the keyboard. "If you're angry with them because Allana was threatened, that's not fair. Your parents don't even know that Allana is their granddaughter, and there would've been an assassination attempt anyway."
    Jacen lowered his guard so that Tenel Ka could sense his emotions, then said, "I'm not angry. I'm sad."

(Tempest, pg. 160)
 

...a pure soul
and beautiful you
don't understand
don't fear me now
I will breathe
for the both of us
travel the world
traverse the skies
your home is here
within my heart ...

    "I'm a slow learner. And I don't usually get caught. My camouflage powers must be slipping."
    "No, Jacen. I am just growing better at sensing your presence." Tenel Ka deactivated her lightsaber and tossed it on the bed, then warmly smiled and opened her arms to him. "I was hoping you would find time to call."
    Jacen cocked his brow, then let his gaze slide over her body. "So I see."
    "Well?" Tenel Ka asked. "Are you just going to stand there gawking? Or are you going to do something about it?"
    Jacen chuckled, then stepped out of the corner and crossed to her. His Force presence remained undetectable -- he was so accustomed to concealing himself that he did so even around Tenel Ka -- but she could tell by the shine in his eyes how happy he was to see her. She slipped a hand behind his neck and drew his mouth to hers.

(Inferno, pg. 3)
 

... sometimes the reflection I see
bears no resemblance to me
sometimes I look around the place I live
and wonder how I came to choose the things I did

in the morning, he smiles
at the start of another day, he smiles

kisses my shoulder
cradles his body
behind mine
shin to toe to thigh to mind ...

    Tenel Ka sank back into her chair, calling on the Force to keep her heart rate under control, her thoughts focused. "So you only came to warn me that the Galactic Alliance is about to collapse?"
    "Well, that's not the only reason." Jacen grinned and cocked an eyebrow.

(Inferno, pg. 6)
 

... you take my confidence from sane to brave
make me strong, push me on and take a chance
learn to jump the waves
so questions, are we playing? is your card an ace?
am I the joker in your hand or a friend on a bad day?

more than speaking, more than thinking
silently you're on my side
no disguise, no hide-and-seeking
mouth to mouth you saved my life

soldier, shine on, with your conscience open
and the curtain falls in with the drums
soldier, come on, when the final chord plays
and the chorus comes ...

    They stopped just inside the hatch, where they would be hidden from the hangar floor but still be visible from the passenger salon of the Shadow. It would be, Tenel Ka knew, the most privacy they were likely to find for a long time. She took Jacen's hand.
    "All the same, we are grateful," she said. "Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you -- and feel free to visit us again when you have time. You will find a warm welcome among our subjects."
    "Thank you, Majesty." Jacen bowed. "I will."
    "Good. We will be looking forward to it."
    Tenel Ka kissed Jacen on the cheek, then fought to keep back the tears as she watched him step through the hatch and once more vanish from her life.

(Tempest, pg. 392)
 

(instrumental)

    "You always have good reasons for breaking your promises."

(Inferno, pg. 275)